Archive for the ‘alcoholism’ Category

By Tony Foster

Although I went to treatment for alcoholism three times in a seven month period it was only the third time that I went by choice. The first time I went was at the behest of my family along with a Baker Act. As you might imagine, I wasn’t excited about being in treatment and giving up alcohol. Consequently, I did my twenty-eight days and stayed sober exactly five days.

Soon after that my wife went to court to have me committed under the Marchman Act. A judge signed off that I was a danger to society and myself, and off I went to treatment again. This time I was even less excited about investing a month of my life into doing something I didn’t want to do. I decided that since I was a grown man nobody was going to tell me when I could or couldn’t drink. I drank on the 28th day on the way home from treatment. Imagine my surprise when I got home and found my house completely empty, except for an easy chair and a television. Believe it or not, I thought I had won the lottery. Now I could drink with impunity. No wife or kid around to stop me. That lasted about six weeks.

During those six weeks the only thing I ate was one bag of M & Ms per day that my wife brought me. She hadn’t completely given up on me, she just couldn’t live with me like that. In any case, during the six weeks I lost sixty pounds. Then one day she came over and out of the blue I said to her “I want to stop drinking”, “I want to change my life”. What I didn’t know then was that I suddenly had something that I never had before, a desire to stop drinking. Alcoholics Anonymous says that the only requirement for membership is a desire to stop drinking. I finally qualified. I said to my wife, “I’m going to go to treatment and do everything they tell me to do”. I opened the phone book and found the Beachcomber, an alcohol and drug treatment facility in Delray Beach. That decision changed my life in more ways than I can count. It literally saved me from a painful, premature death.

My start at the Beachcomber was inauspicious, at best. On the appointed day of my intake my wife drove me there at about 8:30 in the morning. I had been drinking until 4 AM. Joe, the owner, did not want me to stay because he thought I needed detox. My wife begged him to let me stay and capped her pleading and crying with “we need a miracle”. That’s what the Beachcomber became for me, a miracle.

Like many treatment facilities of its kind the Beachcomber uses a twelve step model to help patients get and stay sober. But they do much more than that. Alcoholics Anonymous tells us that drinking is but a symptom of underlying issues that are going on. The Beachcomber focuses on that over a twenty-eight day program. However, it’s how they do it that’s so unique. First, they only have sixteen beds so they never have more than sixteen patients. For these sixteen patients they have five therapists. I doubt you’ll find that kind of ratio anywhere else in the country. They also have a full and a part time chef. Like most other new patients I showed up undernourished and with terrible (or no) eating habits. The chefs took care of that. But besides the food and the therapists it was what I was taught that really helped me when I got out.

I was taught that I was feeling a lot of guilt and shame for what my life had become and how I had squandered a family and my own potential. I learned that there is a grieving process to quitting drinking and that I had to now feel things that in the past I would always drown with vodka. I had to learn how to live my life one day at a time without a drink. But I believe the reason I am sober today is that I learned “Toothbrush Therapy”.

Toothbrush Therapy is a method taught at the Beachcomber which gives one a daily routine that helps a recovering alcoholic or drug addict stay sober. I can still remember Trey, a Beachcomber therapist, saying “if you follow the simple directions and do these five things every day I guarantee you, you will never drink again”. The first time I heard that I was beside myself. You’ve got to be kidding, I thought. In fact, it was early in treatment that I heard it the first time and like a good alcoholic I was going to prove Trey wrong. Well guess what, not only was I wrong, I’ve been doing it now for nearly six and a half years and I haven’t had a drink yet.

Toothbrush Therapy is named because it is designed in a way that it is used as you would brushing your teeth. You get in a routine for personal grooming and such and Toothbrush Therapy establishes a routine. It takes into account that alcoholics and drug addicts are creatures of habit, usually bad ones. But if we really want to be sober Toothbrush Therapy makes it pretty simple. You just have to do it every day. Does that seem like a lot? Well, I drank every day from the moment I woke up until I passed out. I was either buying alcohol or consuming it every waking hour. Toothbrush Therapy can be done in as little as one hour and forty-five minutes per day. Now if you really want to stay sober that seems like a very small requirement to me. If you can’t invest that much time in your sobriety and saving your life then you really don’t want to be sober. I decided to condense Toothbrush Therapy to one sheet that I could refer to all the time. This made it even simpler. In short, I pray at the beginning and end of each day. I also meditate every day. I follow that up with reading four pages of AA literature. Then I go to a meeting every day. I also have a support group of recovering people who I talk to every day. Finally, at the end of every day I write a gratitude list in the manner of a letter to God (my higher power). In the letter I thank him for five things in my life which I’m grateful for. That’s the end of Toothbrush Therapy for that day. As Trey says, “follow the simple directions” and it works.

Taking a personal inventory is good common sense and most people would agree it’s a habit worth cultivating.  Many have found a daily journal or diary equally rewarding as life unfolds.  It can be a way of avoiding the mistakes of our past.  The 12-Step programs for Alcoholics Anonymous and Narcotics Anonymous suggest “we make a searching and fearless moral inventory” as we begin our recovery program.  Then later an “inventory” is encouraged as new challenges and accomplishments unfold.

Writing our thoughts and feelings down, particularly how they relate to gratitude, is an invaluable way of reaffirming things that have come through conscious contact with a higher power and a program that’s truly working.  If and when we may be experiencing mild depression or anxiety, feelings of boredom, or frustration we purposefully write out things we’ve done for our own betterment and some of the ills we’ve managed to overcome by personal effort.

If we find it difficult to begin we can start with the alphabet.  We can feel good about animal pets, air that’s clean and fresh or even a bright apple on the kitchen table.  As we move on to b we find our attention diverted from uncomfortable or negative matters to more positive prospects and accomplishments.  Developing the “attitude of gratitude” has long been a staple of AA/NA groups and often a topic for discussion at meetings.

A gratitude list is best done on a nightly basis and its value is underscored by ways the events of the day have worked toward recovery.  An added benefit of a nightly listing is how it identifies things of value to us and how those items are forming a solid pattern in our route to recovery.  The Good and the Bad leap out to be marked and remembered.

In this respect some alcoholics and addicts have found daily journals most helpful.  In this way we can describe troubling feelings or incidents that have arisen.

When reviewed over time solutions to problems can be applied in many ways and the maxim of “Think” will soon be incorporated in daily living.  On paper events and responses take form and we see situations from a new perspective.  We can, perhaps, better discern actions to be taken in the future.  Writing can help us identify the assets and liabilities that help or hurt our recovery.  Journaling can prove a valuable means of identifying and expressing our feelings in a safe and healthy way.  They might be a first step to sharing those feelings with a therapist, sponsor or friend.  Writing things down helps untangle thoughts and counters self-defeating ideas with alternatives that have proven themselves in prior application.

The often repeated saying “those who forget the lessons of history are doomed to repeat them” is a rather basic truth.  It can apply to individuals, their choice of friends, their conduct together and their levels of maturity.  In most instances alcoholism and addiction are self-acquired illnesses.  They started with simple exposure and through a process of frequency blossomed into habit and dependency.  In that process, however most built a social environment that was part of the dependency.  Drinking “buddies” merged with local bars or clubs and a series of “history lessons” began to unfold.  When treatment begins a review of those lessons takes place in a different context but very soon we detect how Good and Bad come into play with alcoholism and addiction.

As treatment leads to recovery then to sober living, systems abound to remind us of routes to follow.  Aftercare planning can call for residency in a sober-house, might also include periods in outpatient groups and most often, 12-Step meetings are made a part of the process.  It is all geared to change…keyed to new environments…aimed at immediate adjustments in social behavior.  The bottom line is: Dependency on mood altering substances has made a shambles of past history and some very strong lessons have been given.  Don’t forget those lessons learned…they are your history both good and badThe often repeated saying that those who forget the lessons of history are doomed to repeat them has a lot of truth in it!

Experience has clearly proven the value of a solid support network in recovery from alcohol or drug addiction.  For all those involved in programs of recovery nothing is more important than open exchange of information among those sharing in the challenges of substance abuse.  Discussions of life’s daily problems, conflict in feelings that sometimes erupt and “just letting it all out” are common bonds that must be shared.

Those engaged in recovery as members of A.A. or N.A. need to reach out to others and in consequence be open to exchanges in every way possible.  The old adage: “I’d rather do it myself,” is a dangerous path to follow when drug or alcohol dependency is the topic.  Long term recovery improves through working the program with others.  Being part of a “fellowship” helps keep members on course and its very structure is built on the concept of free and open discussion.   “Unmanageable and powerless” conditions in living can’t be tolerated over long periods and knowing others have regained control is critical.  How they achieved that goal is even more important and communication is the key ingredient!

Included in the communication mix are telephones and personal computers.  They are tools which allow us to reach out, ask for help and extend help to others.  They also provide immediate ways of handling daily confrontations, feelings of uncertainty and unexpected painful events that come and go.  These devices can be regarded as the AA or NA meeting place between contacts with sponsor or home group.  Reaching out to others allows us to break out of the isolation so often a symptom of addictions.

One very popular tool is the phone list.  These can be set up through meeting contacts or frequently such lists are available through treatment centers and AA/NA regional offices. Such lists are, of course, a natural way of acquiring new friends and building a new life.

It also pays to have a range of numbers to call since “getting through” can be a matter of vital importance to anyone who is just getting situated in a new environment.  It’s good to have “professional ties” particularly if one is recently out of treatment and the list might include a therapist or counselor that’s been particularly helpful and interested.  Doctors and therapists may be very busy but all are concerned with our well-being and appreciate contact with former clients or patients.

The telephone has proven a lifeline for countless recovering addicts and alcoholics. One recovering person taling with another has proven time and time again to be powerful in preventing the first drink or drug.  The secret is to make the call when the problem starts to present itself.  Rejection or a refusal to help can be avoided by clearing contacts in advance.  If a friend is prepared for possible calls and this is promptly established then an emergency will surely be given full attention. Keeping in touch by phone or computer are established traditions in 12-step programs…they are vital links between members.

The Internet is also a vital recovery tool.  General information is available on many web sites and personal support can come promptly with instant messaging and chat programs among new friends. By going to meetings, using the phone and participating in social events members achieve strong support networks.  Soon members begin to trust and can rely on feedback to maintain their programs.  There is no substitute for regular social contact and it’s why group meetings are so critically important. We communicate!

Nothing’s so bad a drink or drug won’t make it worse. First reach out to a friend in your program.

Beginning with the “Big Book,” Alcoholics Anonymous, a solid foundation for comprehensive treatment was published in 1939 and has undergone some editing and relatively minor changes into its Fourth Edition.  The book, most often referred to by A.A. members as “The Big Book,” described a twelve-step program involving admission of powerlessness over alcohol, moral inventory, complete and direct restitution to those harmed, and asking for direction and guidance, from a higher power.

Essential to this process was the idea that the higher power be “of one’s own understanding.” In 1941, book sales and membership increased after interviews on American radio and favorable articles in US magazines, particularly by Jack Alexander in The Saturday Evening Post. Soon after the General Service Office of A.A. initiated a series of booklets explaining various aspects of the program that evolves to the present.

Reading recovery literature helps members understand and reinforce the many facets to A.A.  The written materials focus on recovery and guide readers away from cravings, restlesness and boredom. They also aid in providing solutions to daily challenges after a program of abstinance begins to take hold.  Many A.A. and Narcotics Anonymous members find that when read on a daily basis, the program literature further reinforces recovery and continues to bring new meaning to the Twelve Steps.

A.A, World Service Office recommends the following books for establishing a solid basis in recovery.  They have been published in English, Spanish and French. They are:

Alcoholics Anonymous, (The Big Book) and The Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions of Alcoholics Anonymous. In addition, a wide range of topical pamphlets is available on request and may also be obtained though local A.A. groups and regional offices.

For those who are seeking a broader range of written information of Alcoholism and Addiction the Internet provides thousands of references.  If however, the individual is concerned about possible abuse or alcoholic beverages or chemical substances, direct contact with treatment specialists, counselors, or referral agencies is encouraged.

As the alcoholic or addict becomes aware of his or her plight then admitting it to others seems less a challenge than might first be expected.  It’s at that point it’s time to start thinking in terms of “surrendering” and seeking guidance from professionals or people in the community who consider themselves in a recovery program.  That is usually Alcoholics or Narcotic Anonymous and most frequently it’s based on understanding that “things have gotten out of hand” and new directions are needed.  It’s not how people get into AA & NA that’s important it is how they can begin to relate to what they are told and show a willingness to follow suggestions.

The first major suggestion in recovery is determination if medical treatment is required and if so then what type is needed.  That can be determined by a medical professional or usually by someone who has known addiction through personal experience.  If it’s decided an AA or NA meeting would be the first good learning experience then that’s easily arranged.  It doesn’t take long for the substance abuser to decide if the “meeting model” might meet their needs.  Much depends on the newcomer’s willingness to listen and open both heart and mind to the scene taking place.

For the majority of recovering addicts and alcoholics attendance at group meetings has proved the path to follow.  In fact, the 12-Step programs are the original models set up and established by people who felt they could gain sobriety and return to productive living by following the suggested steps presented in order.  AA & NA “work” and the key to maintenance is regular attendance at meetings.  For many, recovery begins with the maxim of: “Attending ninety meetings in ninety days!”  Thousands have followed that advice and it remains popular to this day.

Regular attendance at meetings adds structure to the recovery process.  Meetings offer a new route to social activity and to interacting with others with similar challenges in life.

As is stated in the AA preamble meetings are the best way to share experiences, strength and hope.  Members hear and share what lives were like before recovery.  In part, this is so the newcomer may relate but it also allows the established member to recall times of difficulty and appreciate accomplishments that followed after sobriety was attained.

Meetings bring a feeling of “believable hope.”  The group hears how recovering members stay clean and sober.  How they deal with new issues they must face without alcohol or other mood altering chemicals.  The AA or NA meeting offers a safe forum to discuss feelings and concerns when new challenges arise.  It is at meetings members develop support networks and spend newly discovered time after alcohol and drugs lost control.

Always Remember: “Meeting Makers Make It!”

Addiction treatment presupposes many common “webs” that entangle those seeking change and guidance from dependency on Alcohol, prescription medication, or narcotics. One major indicator for most who need treatment is general bankruptcy and restoration of  what’s often termed: spirituality.

Webster terms that concept as: the quality or state of being spiritual.  Another source defines spirituality as – related to matters of the spirit, beliefs tied to a spirit world, multidimensional and one or more deities.

So as the curious and the newcomer look into recovery and clarification of both AA and NA they run immediately into the spiritual aspects of recovery.  In fact, the first time they review the 12-steps of these programs they encounter The Eleventh Step and some draw back in trepidation.  The step states: “We sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God, praying only for knowledge of his will for us and the power to carry that out.”  In some instances this is too strong a statement.  It may make the reader and potential member recoil in fear.

Stop…please do not run!

Closer examination in the Big Book of AA entitled simply: Alcoholics Anonymous, addresses this aspect of the fellowship in depth. The book helps clear up concerns of those who lack interest in such matters or may have turned their backs on organized religions or other groups intent on “recruitment” to some particular cause.  The chapter devoted to the subject in the Big Book is the 4th and is entitled:  We Agnostics.

All who become involved with AA or NA find themselves approaching the 11th Step as they meet and discourse with fellow members.  In most treatment centers therapy groups discuss the issue of spiritual renewal and how its loss left many people with an empty feeling: “a hole in the middle of the gut that couldn’t be filled.”  Lectures too are keyed to the challenge and essentially provide a review of the 4th chapter following a reading assignment.  “This Big Book effort must be commended if for no other reason than it removes spirituality from missinterpretation as religious teaching,” one theologian stated.

Reflection on moral codes, philosophies of clean living have often been presented as cures for substance abuse and addiction.  “Will power” is a usually cited as the pathway to follow.  However, no matter how strong the alcoholic wished for direction the power simply was not there and human resources generated by the “will” didn’t do the trick.
Power was lacking and had to be discovered.  It had to be:  “A power greater than ourselves” and where could the suffering alcoholic and addict find such an asset?

It begins with the admission that such a higher power is needed and seems to work for others.  It need not be a traditional religious concept and it can be contained in almost any identity. Some have embraced the local AA group as that power greater than themselves.  Others may turn to nature as providing their conscious contact with an inner spirit and lead to times of quiet reflection in places of natural beauty where their power resides.

So the recovering alcoholic or addict is actively seeking ways to keep life in balance. By staying in touch with the source of power clear choices present themselves and quiet, deep understanding emerges.  Some find prayer and meditation directed to the “higher power” fulfilling the need.  This practice often keeps the recovering person attuned to the inner self, the program of recovery underway, the important people in their lives, and the resources discovered that are now available when called upon.

NOTE:
“Big Books,” the basic texts of Alcoholics Anonymous and Narcotics Anonymous, are now available in their entirety online.

Alcoholism – substance abuse treatment – is effective in most cases when the individual has a sincere desire for recovery.  That person must want to be sober and willing to do whatever it takes to attain that goal.  Research shows that a minority of alcoholics remain sober after treatment, while some have periods of sobriety alternating with drinking bouts.  Others seem unable to stop drinking for any serious length of time and most of this group has been mentally impaired in some way.

Treatment outcome for addiction compares favorably with those of many other chronic medical conditions.  The longer one abstains from “chemical use” the more likely one is to remain sober.  Of course it is important to remember than many people relapse before long-term sobriety takes hold.  That’s where the desire for recovery plays such an important role.  If relapse does occur it is important to try to stop drinking again and to seek help as soon as possible. On going support from friends and family members is very important and this “support network” is always encouraged by therapist/counselors.  The only warning applies in avoiding “people, places and things” that had been the drinking or drug abuse life-style.

For most persons “in recovery” the support network involves 12-Step programs of Alcoholics Anonymous or Narcotics Anonymous.  They share the same views and their philosophy of abstinence prevails if long-term results are to take hold.  Both programs are based on social contact through regular attendance at meetings and these are available in nearly every community in the nation.  In fact, millions of AA and NA members reside in towns and villages around the world. When it comes to becoming a member of AA or NA both embrace the same philosophies and abide by similar Steps to Recovery. One need only include Narcotics Anonymous or N.A. when reading the AA preamble:

The Preamble

ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS is a fellowship of men and women who share their experience, strength and hope with each other that they may solve their common problem and help others to recover from alcoholism. The only requirement for membership is a desire to stop drinking. There are no dues or fees for A.A. membership; we are self-supporting through our own contributions. A.A. is not allied with any sect, denomination, politics, organization or institution; does not wish to engage in any controversy; neither endorses nor opposes any causes. Our primary purpose is to stay sober and help other alcoholics to achieve sobriety. (See: www.aa.org. or www.na.org)

Meetings are the mechanism for social exchange and so the foundation for any long-term “cure.”  Through meetings new friendships are forged and newcomers can seek counsel from members who can relate to the uncertaintities of recovery.  Attending meetings regularly adds structure and prevents feelings of loneliness and isolation.  Treatment centers universally recommend after-care sessions in the form of AA/NA attendance and most furnish locations of local groups for former residents.  Great importance is attached to mutual experiences and new members connect with people who understand the rewards and challenges of major life changes.  New members are accepted for who they are by those who have gone through the same process sometimes decades previously.

AA and NA regard their programs as “a fellowship” and embrace them as a way to share “experience, strength and hope.”  When individuals compare what things were like before treatment…new paths were just being outlined they discover how much they hold in common with other older members.  The newcomer feels confidence in those shared experiences and the long term member is reminded of the abuses, pains and losses that dependency had caused in their lives.  For all it provides comparisons in the specific changes that have been applied…underscores how rewards come to those determined to put alcoholism and addiction behind them.  It’s why AA members say:

IT WORKS IF YOU WORK IT!