What is Acupuncture?

Acupuncture is the stimulation of specific points located near or on the surface of the skin which have the ability to alter biochemical and physiological conditions in order to achieve the desired effect.

Acupuncture points are points that have been designated to have electrical sensitivity. Inserting needles at these points stimulates sensory receptors and stimulate nerves that transmit impulses to the hypothalamus and pituitary glands located at the base of the brain. The hypothalamus and pituitary glands are responsible for releasing neurotransmitters and endorphins which are the body’s natural pain killing hormones.

History of Acupuncture

Acupuncture is over 5,000 years old and was not just practiced in China. The Egyptians talked about vessels that resembled the 12 meridians n 1550 B.C. South African Bantu tribesman scratched parts of their bodies in an effort to cure disease. The Arabs cauterized their ears with hot metal probes. The Eskimos used sharp stones for Acupuncture and Brazilian cannibals shot tiny arrows with blow pipes to diseased parts of their bodies to cure disease.

The first use of acupuncture to treat addiction started in the 1970’s. The interesting thing is that it was an accidental discovery. Dr. Wen a neurosurgeon in Hong Kong was researching the effects of acupuncture on treating post surgical pain and instead found that applying electrical stimulation to the lung point in the ear helped to relieve withdrawal symptoms.

Acupuncture & the Addict

For the addict acupuncture releases endorphins or the body’s natural pain relievers. The release of endorphins has shown to have the affect of temporarily relieving withdrawal symptoms.

At The Beachcomber the Holistic Approach applies to our total environment. Most important, it flourishes as time passes and experiences of body, mind and spirit bring awareness. Our goal is to treat the whole being to thoroughly help you beat your drug or alcohol addiction and help to eliminate the possibility of relapse.

Do you have a drug or alcohol problem and need help? We invite you to visit with us at The Beachcomber in Delray Beach, Florida. Or, please call us toll free at (877) 270-6226 for information about our program and free consultations.

About Light Sound Neurotherapy
AVE (Audio-Visual Entrainment) or light and sound neurotherapy is a non-drug therapy for reducing the symptoms of anxiety, stress and pain. This novel technique employs flashing lights and pulsing tones at specific brain wave frequencies, which enhance brain activity, increase cerebral blood flow and calm the mind.
Clinical studies show that Light and Sound therapy Stimulation promotes significant reduction in stress and excessive tension while increasing, stress release, relaxation, personal realization and cognitive awareness, resulting in improved recovery ability. Light and Sound Stimulation also aids in reducing the frequency of headache and Migraines, insomnia, and occurrences of anxiety and depression that commonly occur with withdrawal.
The rate of the flickering light causes the brain waves to match any set frequency to a more appropriate rate, such as beta, alpha, or theta, depending on the desired results. At certain frequencies, this flickering can produce a reduction of anxiety and induce deep mental and physical relaxation which can in turn help with addiction recovery.
This treatment’s focus is to increase stimulation and the release of certain known neurotransmitters such as dopamine, serotonin, acetylcholine, nor-epinephrine, and endorphins. Endorphins, which are amino acids secreted in the brain, has a pain-relieving effect like that of morphine and lowers pain intensity. Typically when drug use occurs it’s these same endorphins and dopamine which fuel the brain’s stimuli and cause addiction.
Studies show that endorphin release reduces depression and aids emotional stability, giving one a calmer, more restful approach to life. Since endorphin release is present in addiction it is only logical that it be used in recovery treatment along with other available alternative treatments.
Research evaluating the effects produced by Light and Sound Stimulation has indicated:

• Increased deep mental and physical.
• Recovery of long- and short-term memory
• Increased IQ performance
• Increased ability to focus and concentrate
• Decreased fatigue an stress
• Improved self-confidence & self worth
• Improved decision making and problem solving

Yoga was developed to be healthy alternative to dealing with stress. Yoga works by focusing on treating both the mind and the body simultaneously in an effort to achieve a union of body mind and spirit.

It has been shown that yoga and meditation can help relieve anxiety. Addicts will react with extreme behaviors due to pent up emotions, anger, self-loathing, shame, anxiety trauma or other negative emotions. An addict will engage in these destructive behaviors as they do not know how to handle these emotions appropriately. Yoga can teach an addict how to relax and control their emotions. Yoga can help an addict learn self control, help their self confidence and improve their physical health. The combination of postures breathing and meditation helps to aid the recovering addict in dealing with the stresses of recovery.

Addicts who abuse prescription drugs to help control chronic pain will also find benefits from yoga. Studies have shown that yoga can actually help improve the effectiveness of medical treatments used for chronic pain.

The physical toll caused by addictive behaviors on the body is immense and can contribute to an addicts shame. Yoga stretches, bends and breathing methods can help re-strengthen the body and teach a recovering addict how to diffuse the thoughts and situations which trigger addictive behaviors. Being able to do this is the key to recovery.

Long term effects of Yoga include increased flexibility and stamina, bone and muscle strength, improved circulation and better coordination. Better physical health helps a recovering addict develop a positive self image and decreases the risk that they will abuse of their bodies through drug and alcohol use.

Of course yoga alone is not the answer as it is most successful when combined with other treatment methods.

At The Beachcomber Treatment Center we specialize in the treatment of drug and alcohol additions. We use a holistic approach to drug addiction treatment striving to heal the mind body and soul of an addict.

Do you have a drug or alcohol problem and need help? We invite you to visit with us at The Beachcomber in Delray Beach, Florida. Or, please call us toll free at (877) 270-6226 for information about our program and free consultations.

by Tony Foster.

I wrote this Research Paper from the perspective that same-sex domestic abuse was such an underreported problem that there were not just interventions for the individuals (abuser or victim), but also for governmental and police agencies and for therapists and social service providers. Accordingly, I laid out Part B in a way that answered three questions; what should the abused do; what else can be done; and, what can we do? Below you will find the answers to those questions.

What should the abused do? Below is a comprehensive list for the abused person to consider when they believe that they are being abused:

1. Recognize that you are not responsible for the abuse;
2. Recognize that violence/abuse is not likely to stop on its own. Episodes of violence usually become more frequent and more severe;
3. You must tell someone;
4. Seek professional help from a qualified counselor who is knowledgeable about
   partner abuse and is lesbian/gay positive. A lesbian or gay male counselor with these
   qualities may help you address the pertinent issues of abuse with more comfort and
   focus;
5. Develop a safety plan that includes the following:

1. A safe place to stay;
2. A group of friends you can trust and who will help;
3. Emergency phone numbers;
4. A new phone number that is only given out to those you trust the most;
5. Some money;
6. Your own bank account;
7. A post office box; and,
8. A bag of essentials (Finnigan and MacAulay, 1996) (New Beginnings, 2009)

What else can be done to stop the abuse?

The first thing to understand is that abusive behavior is highly resistant to treatment, and many abusers never change (Pitt, 2000). In nearly all cases the only time the abuse stops permanently is when the victim leaves because abuse is rarely a one-time occurrence (Burke and Owen, 2006). This is often very hard to do. Ending the abuse may mean leaving a partner of many years, disrupting a shared life, and leaving a shared living arrangement (Davenport, 2008). In this matter, the GLBT community must look at themselves. Studies show that few relationships ended because of violence and the physical and emotional impact of the violence was often seen as moderate. It can only be assumed that the community’s perception of intimate violence is that it is not a problem or that it’s detrimental to their relationships (Stanley, Bartholomew, Taylor, Oram, and Landolt, 2006).

Another factor where the GLBT community must look inward is the fact that members of the community do everything possible to perpetuate the myth that there is no intimate partner violence in same-sex relationships. This must change. The lesbian and gay male communities must break down the silence and defensiveness around this issue (Finnigan and MacAulay, 2006). It appears that the GLBT community is often not supportive of victims because they want to maintain the myth that there are no problems in the community, such as child abuse, alcoholism and intimate partner violence. This has created a situation where local resources for victims in the GLBT community are often scarce and many traditional domestic violence services lack the training, sensitivity, and expertise to adequately recognize and address abusive GLBT relationships (Lambda, 2009). Instead of putting ones head in the sand leaders in the community should get educated and help educate. They should also advocate for treatment and services on the part of medical, legal, police and social services that are equal, accessible and sensitive to the needs of victims of intimate partner violence. This can be started by placing stories and ads in community papers and other gay and lesbian media outlets, placing notices in gay and lesbian bars and clubs and participating in public forums.

Laws must be enacted which both protect the victim and are enforced. Currently, state laws vary throughout the country. At the end of 2007 the individual states could not agree on most important subjects regarding Intimate Partner Violence. For example, there is no consistency throughout the country on the circumstances whereby a judge issues a Civil Protection Order. They cannot agree on what the definition of a victim is, what the definition of an abuser is, and most importantly for this paper, whether a same-sex partner is protected. Furthermore, the duration of the order ranges nationally from 90 days to perpetuity. In fact, the state of Colorado for example, lists its duration as “can be permanent or shorter” (Skolnik, et al, 2008). Although most state laws are written to be gender neutral, some states (Delaware, Louisiana, Montana, New York, South Carolina, and Virginia) explicitly exclude gay and lesbian relationships from legal protection for domestic violence (Brown and Groscup, 2008).

Another aspect of the legal system that is not working in the GLBT community relates to the actions of many police when they are called to the scene of a same-sex domestic violence incident. Because many of the laws that do exist protect only direct family and household members many police are put into a situation that is untenable (Seelau and Seelau, 2005).

Furthermore, even when the police have laws which properly protect the victim, they often look the other way or are not trained to handle such situations. Either their personal prejudices stop them from intervening or they fall into the stereotypical trap that women cannot be abusers and men cannot be abused. Police agencies need to incorporate diversity training and make the officers take the training seriously. Where there is training happening now, it is often derided and scoffed at (Burke and Owen, 2006).

The criminal justice system is no better. There have been many studies showing that prosecutors and juries are pre-disposed causing a male perpetrator on a female victim to be far more likely to be convicted than a same-sex or female on male perpetrator. When a woman is the perpetrator the feeling is that she must have been provoked by the victim (Seelau and Seelau, 2005).

Prosecutors and judges, in particular, need additional training. Prosecutors must pursue cases of same-sex violence and not look at them as “fair fights” because it’s the same sex. Judges must become more sensitive and aware of same-sex domestic violence. They must avoid
sentence disparity based on sexual orientation (Burke and Owen, 2006). Again, diversity training and attitude change is a must.

Legal protection is not the only area lagging for victims. As implied above, community services are not adequate for victims of same-sex domestic violence. Because the GLBT community has hidden the problem and the heterosexual population views domestic violence as the man being the aggressor and the woman as the victim, very little widespread attention has been given to this problem. Accordingly, there is very little information or resources within the community that apply specifically to this problem. Not only are the victims not receiving the help they need government officials, social workers, and health care providers know very little about the problems or the nuances that go along with same-sex domestic violence (Devine, 2008).

As usual, money needs to be spent. Resources and funding for short and long-term support must be made available. Safe houses and shelters, places where a victim can escape to, must be provided. At this time, safe houses are rarely available for same-sex domestic victims (Burke and Owen, 2006).

So what can we, as therapists or counselors, do to help?

As you would expect, education is where it all starts for us. That is not just our education, but in turn educating others. We have to forget about what we think we know about same-sex domestic abuse. We have to put aside stereotypes that are either personal issues or have been foisted on us by society for many generations. We have to learn through research and asking a lot of questions. We have to be willing to go to government officials and educate them and other members of the community. They are the ones who enact the laws and enforce them. While some states have made strides to make domestic violence laws gender neutral, there is still a lot of work to do.

The most important thing we can do is to be sensitive to the GLBT community. If we are going to work in the community we have to be prepared with knowledge and empathy. In my research I saw much of the despair felt within the community because we’re seen as unconcerned for the victims of abuse in the GLBT community. One quote that summed up what many said was “I feel like I can’t talk about it, I mean how many therapists/social service providers are going to understand queer, s/m, abuse, intersexed, interracial (all features of her abusive relationships) . . . It’s too complicated” (Ristock and Timbang, 2005).

Some of the knowledge we need is as simple as knowing the proper terminology. For example, intimate partner violence is not something I had ever heard of before. It isn’t hard to figure out what it means but we should know. We should know that words such as -queer” are no longer derogatory, but something that the GLBT community has reclaimed in a positive way to reflect the diversity and breadth of sexual and gender identities (Ristock, and Timbang, 2005). There are countless other words and terms which we need to know and be comfortable using if we are going to work in the community and be empathetic.

Social workers and therapists should also be prepared from a screening perspective. Intake forms and other assessment tools should reflect knowledge of domestic abuse in the community. By doing so would normalize the victim’s situation and not single them out (Pitt and Dolan-Soto, 2001).

Finally, we must be willing to not only counsel the victim, but also the abuser. Counseling should be done in an environment that is safe for the abuser and not done with the victim present. This can create a potential dangerous situation for the victim once the session is
finished. The treatment must be for the purpose of recognizing the source of the violent behavior and learn how to deal with the conflict in a non-violent manner. Otherwise, the abuser will just move on to the next victim (Burke and Owen, 2006).

In short, we have to get educated, change our attitudes, educate others, and there needs to be more of us prepared to adequately serve the community. A number of surveys have shown that those in the medical field often hold negative attitudes toward gays and lesbians. One survey of 165 nurses showed that the majority (57%) felt moderate and (20%) severe homophobia (Brown and Groscup, 2008). These attitudes can and do influence treatment decisions and the delivery of services. Our attitudes must lead the way and again that comes back to education. There are many websites available. Therapists and social workers should become well acquainted with them. A good start is “Gay Men’s Domestic Violence Project”. It can be found at www.gmdvp.org/domestic vio.stu ed/index.html. There are many others including ww w.-womensabuseprevention.com, www.abuse.suite101.com, www.gayandlesbiantimes.com, WNW/ gayl ife.aboutcom, www.bqueer.com, and wvvw.lambda.org.

REFERENCES

Brown, M. J., and Groscup, J. (2008). Perceptions of Same-sex Domestic Violence Among Crisis Center Staff Journal of Family Violence, Vol. 24: 87-93.

Burke, T. W., and Owen, S. S. (2006). Same-Sex Domestic Violence: Is anyone listening? The Gay & Lesbian Review Worldwide, XIII (1), 6.

Davenport, B., (2008). Hurts too bad-domestic violence in same sex relationships. Gay & Lesbian Times, May 1, 2008: 36-38

Devine, J., (2008). Domestic Violence in Gay Relationships. BQ Online Magazine, August 13, 2008. Available on the Internet at http://www.bqueer.com/article/DomesticViolence-in-Gay-Relationships-a16.html.

Family Violence Prevention Fund, Health Care Response to Domestic Violence Fact Sheet, (2000). Available on the Internet at http://www.fvpf.org/health/facts.html.

Finnigan, B., and MacAulay, D. (1996). Abuse in Same-Sex Relationships. Violence in Same-Sex Relationship Infollnation Project, (1996).

Houston, E., and McKirnan, D.J., (2007) Intimate Partner Abuse among Gay and Bisexual Men: Risk Correlates and Health Outcomes. Journal of Urban Health: Bulletin of the New York Academy of Medicine, Vol. 84, No. 5, 2007: 681-690.

Mendieta, M., (1999) Hidden Bruises: A new report exposes the unspoken problem of domestic violence among gays and lesbians. The Advocate, Issue 799: p. 24.

New Beginnings, A Women’s Crisis Center, Same Sex Partner Abuse, (2009). Available on the Internet at http:/www.newbeginningsnh.org/gaylesbianpartner.html.

Pitt, E., (2000), Domestic Violence in Gay and Lesbian Relationships. Journal of the Gay and Lesbian Medical Association, Vol. 4, No. 4, 2000: 195-196.

Pitt, E., and Dolan-Soto, D., (2001). Clinical Considerations in Working with Victims of Same-Sex Domestic Violence. Journal of the Gay and Lesbian Medical Association, Vol. 5, No. 4, December 2001: 163-169.

Rennison, C.M., and Welchans, S. (2000). Intimate partner violence. Washington, D.C.: Bureau of Justice Statistics.

Ristock, J., and Timbang, N., (2005). Relationship Violence in Lesbian/Gay/Bisexual/Transgender/Queer (LGBTQ) Communities ó Moving Beyond a Gender- Based Framework. Violence Against Women Online Resources. July 2005: 1-19.

Seelau, S.M. and Seelau, E.P., (2005). Gender-Role Stereotypes and Perceptions of Heterosexual, Gay and Lesbian Domestic Violence. Journal of Family Violence, Vol. 20, No. 6, 2005: 363-371.

Skolnik, A.A., et al, Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual and Transgender Domestic Violence in the United States in 2007, National Coalition of Anti-Violence Programs, (2008).

Stanley, J.L., Bartholomew, K., Taylor, T., Oram, D., and Landolt, M., (2006) Intimate Violence in Same-Sex Relationships. Journal of Family Violence, Vol. 21, No. 1, 2006: 31-41.

Turrell, S.C. (2000). A Descriptive Analysis of Same-Sex Relationship Violence for a Diverse Sample. Journal of Family Violence, Vol. 15, No. 3, 2000: 281-293.

Domestic Violence in Same-Sex Relationships. Available on the Internet at http://www.aardvarc.org/dv/p-samesex.html

Domestic Violence in Fay, Lesbian, and Bisexual Relationships. Available on the Internet at http://www.lambda.org/DV background.html

by Tony Foster.

Domestic violence affects over one million people in the United States every year in all kinds of relationships (Rennison & Welchans, 2000). The victims often sustain serious injuries, some even killed. It is estimated that the medical costs of treating patients who are presenting due to undiagnosed domestic violence is $67 million per year (Family Violence Prevention Fund, 2000). In the gay community it is described as the third most severe health problem among gay men, after AIDS and substance abuse. Furthermore, victims of domestic violence were found to have higher rates of depression, hypertension, obesity, sexually transmitted infections and behaviors such as unprotected sex and substance abuse (Houston and McKirnan, 2007). Yet, even the gay community discourages reporting the abuse for fear of bad “public relations” (Mendieta, 1999)

One of the most misunderstood factors in domestic violence is the myth that there is no such thing as abuse in same-sex relationships. The words “battering” and “domestic and family violence” are usually associated with the images of men abusing women. The truth is that the ratio of reported abuse is very similar to that of heterosexual relationships, generally reported at between 25% and 33% (Seelau and Seelau, 2005). Some surveys have shown the rates to be as much as three times higher than those reported by men involved with women (Houston and McKirnan, 2007). However, these are generally accepted as estimates which fly in the face of the fact that the gay community believes most same-sex violence is grossly underreported and that those who do not come forward far outnumber those who do (Skolnik, et al, 2008). This is because of the stigma and denial associated with violence; the gay community doesn’t want the negative attention that comes along with it. Therefore, the abused feel like they’re betraying the community if they report the event (Ristock, 2005).

To make matters worse, the abused person in a gay relationship has the added fear of being “outed” that doesn’t exist in a heterosexual relationship. Add to that the fact that the authorities have a tendency to look the other way when there is evidence of abuse in a same sex relationship (Turrell, 2000). This paper will examine several myths about gay relationships. However, it will concentrate on the unspoken, often ignored, idea that abuse occurs in all types of relationships, even in gay relationships where the stereotype has always been that gay men were “too sensitive” to be abusive. Equally as wrong is the stereotype that the “butch” woman in the relationship is in control and therefore the aggressor in any abusive event (Finnigan and MacAulay, 1996). Additionally, this paper will attempt to make recommendations for therapists and clinicians to do a better, more consistent job in their handling of same-sex domestic abuse.

Let’s begin by using the proper terminology. Domestic abuse in any relationship, but particularly in same-sex relationships, is known as intimate partner violence. The National Coalition of Anti-Violence Programs defines intimate partner violence as “a pattern of behavior where one partner coerces, dominates, and isolates the other to maintain power and control over their partner” (Skolnik, et al, 2008). There is no specific mention of physical violence. Most research indicates that intimate partner violence occurs when there are instances of one or more of the following:

• Abuse which is physical, sexual, emotional, psychological, or involves verbal behavior used to coerce, threaten or humiliate.
• The abuse often occurs and is most dangerous when one partner in the relationship seeks to leave.
• The purpose of the abuse is to maintain control and power over one’s partner.
• The abused partner feels alone, isolated and afraid, and is usually convinced that the abuse is somehow her or his fault, or could have been avoided if she or he knew what to do.
• A pattern of violence or behaviors exists where one seeks to control the thoughts, beliefs, or conduct of their intimate partner, or to punish their partner for resisting their control. This may be seen as physical or sexual violence, or emotional and verbal abuse.
• Abuse often occurs in a cyclical fashion, known as the “cycle of abuse”.

The cycle of abuse is an important factor in the continuation of abuse that occurs in a violent relationship. This model describes three stages: honeymoon, tension- building, and blow-up. As this cycle occurs over and over again it usually increases in frequency and severity.

In the honeymoon stage the victim is likely to see the abusive partner in a positive light at all times, including the discussion of past abusive instances. There is some minimizing and denial on the part of the victim.

In the tension-building stage the victim is often anxious and uncomfortable about the relationship. There is a feeling of “walking on eggshells” by the victim.

In the blow-up stage the victim is focusing on his/her safety. They are afraid to take action for fear that it will provoke the abuser. During this stage, especially if the cycle is repeated many times, the victim is at an increased risk of harm. Most serious injuries occur when the blow-up has occurred many times. Even if there is no physical violence there will be consequences to the victim. The consequences might include the destruction of a precious item, loss of contact with a close friend or family member, or injury. After the blow-up stage the cycle begins again with the honeymoon cycle (Pitt and Dolan-Soto, 2001).

There are distinctions between same-sex intimate partner violence and that which exists in heterosexual relationships. Some of the differences, making it additionally challenging for the abused, are as follows:

• There is often the threat, either spoken or not, that the abuser will “out” the abused to his family, his employer, or his landlord.
• Resources for dealing with same-sex abuse are limited and where they exist are often manned by people who are not properly trained, have sensitivity to the issues, or can properly recognize and address abusive Gay Lesbian Bisexual or Transsexual (GLBT) relationships.
• It is frequently incorrectly assumed that GLBT abuse must be mutual since they are both the same sex. However, there are studies which suggest that establishing a distinction between perpetrator and victim is often hard to do because the roles may change (Stanley, Bartholomew, Taylor, Oram, and Landolt, 2006).
• Using the limited resources might require “coming out”, which is a major life decision for a GLBT.
• There is concern about telling heterosexual social workers about abuse at a shelter because it might reinforce another myth, that the relationships are “abnormal”.
• The abuser often uses racism, homophobia, transphobia, classism, ableism, immigration, and HIV status, even the abuser’s own vulnerabilities, to inflict harm (Skolnik, et al, 2008).

Some of the other myths which are perpetrated regarding same-sex relationships are:

1. Only straight women get battered. Men are not victims of domestic violence, and women never batter;
2. Domestic violence is more common in heterosexual relationships that it is in same-sex relationships. Every survey I found has shown very similar percentages;
3. It really isn’t violence when a same-sex-couple fights. It’s just a lover’s quarrel, a fair fight among equals;
4. It really isn’t violence when gay men fight. It is boys being boys. A man should be able to defend himself.
5. The batterer is always bigger, stronger, more “butch”. Victims will always be smaller, weaker, more feminine.
6. Lesbian and Gay domestic violence is sexual behavior, a version of S & M. The victim actually likes it.
7. The law does not and will not protect victims of same-sex domestic violence.
8. It is easier for lesbian or gay victims of domestic violence to leave the abusive relationship than it is for heterosexual battered women who are married (Domestic Violence in Same-Sex Relationships).

RESEARCH REFERENCES

Brown, M. J., and Groscup, J. (2008). Perceptions of Same-sex Domestic Violence Among Crisis Center Staff Journal of Family Violence, Vol. 24: 87-93.

Burke, T. W., and Owen, S. S. (2006). Same-Sex Domestic Violence: Is anyone listening? The Gay & Lesbian Review Worldwide, XIII (1), 6.

Davenport, B., (2008). Hurts too bad-domestic violence in same sex relationships. Gay & Lesbian Times, May 1, 2008: 36-38

Devine, J., (2008). Domestic Violence in Gay Relationships. BQ Online Magazine, August 13, 2008. Available on the Internet at http://wvyrw.bqueer.com/article/DomesticViolence-in-Gav-Relationships-a16.html.

Family Violence Prevention Fund, Health Care Response to Domestic Violence Fact Sheet, (2000). Available on the Internet at http://www.fvpf.org/health/facts.html.

Finnigan, B., and MacAulay, D. (1996). Abuse in Same-Sex Relationships. Violence in Same-Sex Relationship Information Project, (1996).

Houston, E., and McKirnan, D.J., (2007) Intimate Partner Abuse among Gay and Bisexual Men: Risk Correlates and Health Outcomes. Journal of Urban Health: Bulletin of the New York Academy of Medicine, Vol. 84, No. 5, 2007: 681-690.

Mendieta, M., (1999) Hidden Bruises: A new report exposes the unspoken problem of domestic violence among gays and lesbians. The Advocate, Issue 799: p. 24.

New Beginnings, A Women’s Crisis Center, Same Sex Partner Abuse, (2009). Available on the Internet at http:/www.newbeginningsnh.org/gaylesbianpartner.html.

Pitt, E., (2000), Domestic Violence in Gay and Lesbian Relationships. Journal of the Gay and Lesbian Medical Association, Vol. 4, No. 4, 2000: 195-196.

Pitt, E., and Dolan-Soto, D., (2001). Clinical Considerations in Working with Victims of Same-Sex Domestic Violence. Journal of the Gay and Lesbian Medical Association, Vol. 5, No. 4, December 2001: 163-169.

Rennison, C.M., and Welchans, S. (2000). Intimate partner violence. Washington, D.C.: Bureau of Justice Statistics.\

Ristock, J., and Timbang, N., (2005). Relationship Violence in Lesbian/Gay/Bisexual/Transgender/Queer (LGBTQ) Communities ó Moving Beyond a Gender- Based Framework. Violence Against Women Online Resources. July 2005: 1-19.

Seelau, S.M. and Seelau, E.P., (2005). Gender-Role Stereotypes and Perceptions of Heterosexual, Gay and Lesbian Domestic Violence. Journal of Family Violence, Vol. 20, No. 6, 2005: 363-371.

Skolnik, A.A., et al, Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual and Transgender Domestic Violence in the United States in 2007, National Coalition of Anti-Violence Programs, (2008).

Stanley, J.L., Bartholomew, K., Taylor, T., Oram, D., and Landolt, M., (2006) Intimate Violence in Same-Sex Relationships. Journal of Family Violence, Vol. 21, No. 1, 2006: 31-41.

Turrell, S.C. (2000). A Descriptive Analysis of Same-Sex Relationship Violence for a Diverse Sample. Journal of Family Violence, Vol. 15, No. 3, 2000: 281-293.

Domestic Violence in Same-Sex Relationships. Available on the Internet at http://www.aardvarc.org/dv/p-samesex.html

Domestic Violence in Fay, Lesbian, and Bisexual Relationships. Available on the Internet at http://www.lambda.org/DV background.html

One of the most heart breaking things to deal with is a Xanax addicted family member. Xanax side effects can vary amongst persons but include the following:

• Difficulty concentrating
• Floated or disconnected sensation
• Depressed heartbeat
• Depressed breathing
• Excessive sleep and sleepiness
• Mental confusion
• Memory loss

When a family member is addicted to Xanax it is hard for them to just stop without help as the withdrawal symptoms can be excruciating. They may experience rapid heartbeat, shaky hands, insomnia, sweating, irritability, anxiety and agitation. Family members while they want to help members with a Xanax addiction often find themselves feeling overwhelmed and helpless and some even give up. You can help your family member beat their Xanax addiction but it is important to continue to show love and support for your Xanax addicted family member. Xanax addicts who have no support system are twice as likely to continue their abuse as in their mind they have nothing to live for. Always encourage them to get help and be patient with him/her. Consider doing an intervention with a certified and getting them enrolled in a Xanax treatment program.

The Beachcomber treatment center in Delray Beach, Florida offers a unique targeted program for Xanax addiction and other prescription drug addiction. The program includes individualized assessments and treatment plans to meet specific needs following detoxification. Our Center has specialized in addiction treatment since 1976 and is the oldest operating residential program in Florida.

To speak to a certified a certified Xanax addiction counselor click here.

By Tony Foster

Although I went to treatment for alcoholism three times in a seven month period it was only the third time that I went by choice. The first time I went was at the behest of my family along with a Baker Act. As you might imagine, I wasn’t excited about being in treatment and giving up alcohol. Consequently, I did my twenty-eight days and stayed sober exactly five days.

Soon after that my wife went to court to have me committed under the Marchman Act. A judge signed off that I was a danger to society and myself, and off I went to treatment again. This time I was even less excited about investing a month of my life into doing something I didn’t want to do. I decided that since I was a grown man nobody was going to tell me when I could or couldn’t drink. I drank on the 28th day on the way home from treatment. Imagine my surprise when I got home and found my house completely empty, except for an easy chair and a television. Believe it or not, I thought I had won the lottery. Now I could drink with impunity. No wife or kid around to stop me. That lasted about six weeks.

During those six weeks the only thing I ate was one bag of M & Ms per day that my wife brought me. She hadn’t completely given up on me, she just couldn’t live with me like that. In any case, during the six weeks I lost sixty pounds. Then one day she came over and out of the blue I said to her “I want to stop drinking”, “I want to change my life”. What I didn’t know then was that I suddenly had something that I never had before, a desire to stop drinking. Alcoholics Anonymous says that the only requirement for membership is a desire to stop drinking. I finally qualified. I said to my wife, “I’m going to go to treatment and do everything they tell me to do”. I opened the phone book and found the Beachcomber, an alcohol and drug treatment facility in Delray Beach. That decision changed my life in more ways than I can count. It literally saved me from a painful, premature death.

My start at the Beachcomber was inauspicious, at best. On the appointed day of my intake my wife drove me there at about 8:30 in the morning. I had been drinking until 4 AM. Joe, the owner, did not want me to stay because he thought I needed detox. My wife begged him to let me stay and capped her pleading and crying with “we need a miracle”. That’s what the Beachcomber became for me, a miracle.

Like many treatment facilities of its kind the Beachcomber uses a twelve step model to help patients get and stay sober. But they do much more than that. Alcoholics Anonymous tells us that drinking is but a symptom of underlying issues that are going on. The Beachcomber focuses on that over a twenty-eight day program. However, it’s how they do it that’s so unique. First, they only have sixteen beds so they never have more than sixteen patients. For these sixteen patients they have five therapists. I doubt you’ll find that kind of ratio anywhere else in the country. They also have a full and a part time chef. Like most other new patients I showed up undernourished and with terrible (or no) eating habits. The chefs took care of that. But besides the food and the therapists it was what I was taught that really helped me when I got out.

I was taught that I was feeling a lot of guilt and shame for what my life had become and how I had squandered a family and my own potential. I learned that there is a grieving process to quitting drinking and that I had to now feel things that in the past I would always drown with vodka. I had to learn how to live my life one day at a time without a drink. But I believe the reason I am sober today is that I learned “Toothbrush Therapy”.

Toothbrush Therapy is a method taught at the Beachcomber which gives one a daily routine that helps a recovering alcoholic or drug addict stay sober. I can still remember Trey, a Beachcomber therapist, saying “if you follow the simple directions and do these five things every day I guarantee you, you will never drink again”. The first time I heard that I was beside myself. You’ve got to be kidding, I thought. In fact, it was early in treatment that I heard it the first time and like a good alcoholic I was going to prove Trey wrong. Well guess what, not only was I wrong, I’ve been doing it now for nearly six and a half years and I haven’t had a drink yet.

Toothbrush Therapy is named because it is designed in a way that it is used as you would brushing your teeth. You get in a routine for personal grooming and such and Toothbrush Therapy establishes a routine. It takes into account that alcoholics and drug addicts are creatures of habit, usually bad ones. But if we really want to be sober Toothbrush Therapy makes it pretty simple. You just have to do it every day. Does that seem like a lot? Well, I drank every day from the moment I woke up until I passed out. I was either buying alcohol or consuming it every waking hour. Toothbrush Therapy can be done in as little as one hour and forty-five minutes per day. Now if you really want to stay sober that seems like a very small requirement to me. If you can’t invest that much time in your sobriety and saving your life then you really don’t want to be sober. I decided to condense Toothbrush Therapy to one sheet that I could refer to all the time. This made it even simpler. In short, I pray at the beginning and end of each day. I also meditate every day. I follow that up with reading four pages of AA literature. Then I go to a meeting every day. I also have a support group of recovering people who I talk to every day. Finally, at the end of every day I write a gratitude list in the manner of a letter to God (my higher power). In the letter I thank him for five things in my life which I’m grateful for. That’s the end of Toothbrush Therapy for that day. As Trey says, “follow the simple directions” and it works.

Taking a personal inventory is good common sense and most people would agree it’s a habit worth cultivating.  Many have found a daily journal or diary equally rewarding as life unfolds.  It can be a way of avoiding the mistakes of our past.  The 12-Step programs for Alcoholics Anonymous and Narcotics Anonymous suggest “we make a searching and fearless moral inventory” as we begin our recovery program.  Then later an “inventory” is encouraged as new challenges and accomplishments unfold.

Writing our thoughts and feelings down, particularly how they relate to gratitude, is an invaluable way of reaffirming things that have come through conscious contact with a higher power and a program that’s truly working.  If and when we may be experiencing mild depression or anxiety, feelings of boredom, or frustration we purposefully write out things we’ve done for our own betterment and some of the ills we’ve managed to overcome by personal effort.

If we find it difficult to begin we can start with the alphabet.  We can feel good about animal pets, air that’s clean and fresh or even a bright apple on the kitchen table.  As we move on to b we find our attention diverted from uncomfortable or negative matters to more positive prospects and accomplishments.  Developing the “attitude of gratitude” has long been a staple of AA/NA groups and often a topic for discussion at meetings.

A gratitude list is best done on a nightly basis and its value is underscored by ways the events of the day have worked toward recovery.  An added benefit of a nightly listing is how it identifies things of value to us and how those items are forming a solid pattern in our route to recovery.  The Good and the Bad leap out to be marked and remembered.

In this respect some alcoholics and addicts have found daily journals most helpful.  In this way we can describe troubling feelings or incidents that have arisen.

When reviewed over time solutions to problems can be applied in many ways and the maxim of “Think” will soon be incorporated in daily living.  On paper events and responses take form and we see situations from a new perspective.  We can, perhaps, better discern actions to be taken in the future.  Writing can help us identify the assets and liabilities that help or hurt our recovery.  Journaling can prove a valuable means of identifying and expressing our feelings in a safe and healthy way.  They might be a first step to sharing those feelings with a therapist, sponsor or friend.  Writing things down helps untangle thoughts and counters self-defeating ideas with alternatives that have proven themselves in prior application.

The often repeated saying “those who forget the lessons of history are doomed to repeat them” is a rather basic truth.  It can apply to individuals, their choice of friends, their conduct together and their levels of maturity.  In most instances alcoholism and addiction are self-acquired illnesses.  They started with simple exposure and through a process of frequency blossomed into habit and dependency.  In that process, however most built a social environment that was part of the dependency.  Drinking “buddies” merged with local bars or clubs and a series of “history lessons” began to unfold.  When treatment begins a review of those lessons takes place in a different context but very soon we detect how Good and Bad come into play with alcoholism and addiction.

As treatment leads to recovery then to sober living, systems abound to remind us of routes to follow.  Aftercare planning can call for residency in a sober-house, might also include periods in outpatient groups and most often, 12-Step meetings are made a part of the process.  It is all geared to change…keyed to new environments…aimed at immediate adjustments in social behavior.  The bottom line is: Dependency on mood altering substances has made a shambles of past history and some very strong lessons have been given.  Don’t forget those lessons learned…they are your history both good and badThe often repeated saying that those who forget the lessons of history are doomed to repeat them has a lot of truth in it!

Experience has clearly proven the value of a solid support network in recovery from alcohol or drug addiction.  For all those involved in programs of recovery nothing is more important than open exchange of information among those sharing in the challenges of substance abuse.  Discussions of life’s daily problems, conflict in feelings that sometimes erupt and “just letting it all out” are common bonds that must be shared.

Those engaged in recovery as members of A.A. or N.A. need to reach out to others and in consequence be open to exchanges in every way possible.  The old adage: “I’d rather do it myself,” is a dangerous path to follow when drug or alcohol dependency is the topic.  Long term recovery improves through working the program with others.  Being part of a “fellowship” helps keep members on course and its very structure is built on the concept of free and open discussion.   “Unmanageable and powerless” conditions in living can’t be tolerated over long periods and knowing others have regained control is critical.  How they achieved that goal is even more important and communication is the key ingredient!

Included in the communication mix are telephones and personal computers.  They are tools which allow us to reach out, ask for help and extend help to others.  They also provide immediate ways of handling daily confrontations, feelings of uncertainty and unexpected painful events that come and go.  These devices can be regarded as the AA or NA meeting place between contacts with sponsor or home group.  Reaching out to others allows us to break out of the isolation so often a symptom of addictions.

One very popular tool is the phone list.  These can be set up through meeting contacts or frequently such lists are available through treatment centers and AA/NA regional offices. Such lists are, of course, a natural way of acquiring new friends and building a new life.

It also pays to have a range of numbers to call since “getting through” can be a matter of vital importance to anyone who is just getting situated in a new environment.  It’s good to have “professional ties” particularly if one is recently out of treatment and the list might include a therapist or counselor that’s been particularly helpful and interested.  Doctors and therapists may be very busy but all are concerned with our well-being and appreciate contact with former clients or patients.

The telephone has proven a lifeline for countless recovering addicts and alcoholics. One recovering person taling with another has proven time and time again to be powerful in preventing the first drink or drug.  The secret is to make the call when the problem starts to present itself.  Rejection or a refusal to help can be avoided by clearing contacts in advance.  If a friend is prepared for possible calls and this is promptly established then an emergency will surely be given full attention. Keeping in touch by phone or computer are established traditions in 12-step programs…they are vital links between members.

The Internet is also a vital recovery tool.  General information is available on many web sites and personal support can come promptly with instant messaging and chat programs among new friends. By going to meetings, using the phone and participating in social events members achieve strong support networks.  Soon members begin to trust and can rely on feedback to maintain their programs.  There is no substitute for regular social contact and it’s why group meetings are so critically important. We communicate!

Nothing’s so bad a drink or drug won’t make it worse. First reach out to a friend in your program.

Beginning with the “Big Book,” Alcoholics Anonymous, a solid foundation for comprehensive treatment was published in 1939 and has undergone some editing and relatively minor changes into its Fourth Edition.  The book, most often referred to by A.A. members as “The Big Book,” described a twelve-step program involving admission of powerlessness over alcohol, moral inventory, complete and direct restitution to those harmed, and asking for direction and guidance, from a higher power.

Essential to this process was the idea that the higher power be “of one’s own understanding.” In 1941, book sales and membership increased after interviews on American radio and favorable articles in US magazines, particularly by Jack Alexander in The Saturday Evening Post. Soon after the General Service Office of A.A. initiated a series of booklets explaining various aspects of the program that evolves to the present.

Reading recovery literature helps members understand and reinforce the many facets to A.A.  The written materials focus on recovery and guide readers away from cravings, restlesness and boredom. They also aid in providing solutions to daily challenges after a program of abstinance begins to take hold.  Many A.A. and Narcotics Anonymous members find that when read on a daily basis, the program literature further reinforces recovery and continues to bring new meaning to the Twelve Steps.

A.A, World Service Office recommends the following books for establishing a solid basis in recovery.  They have been published in English, Spanish and French. They are:

Alcoholics Anonymous, (The Big Book) and The Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions of Alcoholics Anonymous. In addition, a wide range of topical pamphlets is available on request and may also be obtained though local A.A. groups and regional offices.

For those who are seeking a broader range of written information of Alcoholism and Addiction the Internet provides thousands of references.  If however, the individual is concerned about possible abuse or alcoholic beverages or chemical substances, direct contact with treatment specialists, counselors, or referral agencies is encouraged.